Friday, 15 June 2007

12 reasons Why Chocolate is Better than Sex

Lots has been said and written about chocolate in recent years. We have heard of the many medical benefits of eating chocolate recently, and even more has been discussed about the joys of sex, especially on the internet! .

So ..Is chocolate better than sex? Here are 12 reasons looking at why the dark sticky stuff wins every time.

1. It stays hard by simply putting it in the fridge

2. It doesn't snore straight after the act of passion is finished

3. Chocolate is an aphrodisiac. The Aztecs and the Mayans used it in rituals that resulted in wild orgies. The Aztecs allegedly banned their women from eating chocolate just in case they got horny ... even in Aztec days there was obviously a time and a place for everything.

4. Chocolate gives you stamina, most men could do with some.

5. Chocolate contains a naturally occurring amino acid called phenylethylamine. It helps to cure hangovers, it gets rid of the headache; sex doesn't, it normally makes it worse.

6. Chocolate contains theobromine. This is a mild long lasting stimulant that leaves you in a good mood for ages afterwards. Sex normally doesn't quite match up to this.

7. Casanova drank melted chocolate by the pint before performing his charms. I wonder what he would of been like if he hadn't.... “Not tonight dear, I'm out of chocolate”

8. Staying on the historical theme, France's, Louis XV had a well known mistress, who always served up chocolate before letting her lovers into her boudoir. Maybe she was being paid by the hour.

9. What tastes best, chocolate or sex?

10. Sex can pass on diseases. With the odd exception of a salmonella scare, chocolate doesn't.

11. The antidioxants in chocolate reduce cardiovascular disease and can help you live longer. What's cheaper to insure? A bar of chocolate or a husband.

12. Eating chocolate can be messy at times, however sex can be a whole lot messier, on more than one level.

So there we have it, 12 reasons why chocolate is better than sex. So the next time you have a choice of a quiet night in with a box of hand piped chocolates, or a night in with your partners offering, maybie you should weigh up the odds first.

Happy Eating

Thursday, 14 June 2007

The Four Best Ways To Sleep At Work

Lets face it, even though you work hard, there are moments when we could all do with a quick power nap at work. We do not promote laziness, however even the most effective workers sometimes need some rest. Here is a handy guide to the four best ways to sleep at work.

Short-sighted method
Your head supports the screen whilst your hand rests on the mouse - this demonstrates a deep commitment to your work.

Philosopher method
Rest your head on your hand. This position suggests that you are tackling an issue, which might be crucial to the existance of the company.

Lifter method
In this position, your inertly hanging hand suggests that you are trying to reach for a pen. Might look slightly suspicious if used longer than a minute.

Searcher method
This method is also known as insolent, use only when other methods fail.

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