Thursday 14 June 2007

The Four Best Ways To Sleep At Work

Lets face it, even though you work hard, there are moments when we could all do with a quick power nap at work. We do not promote laziness, however even the most effective workers sometimes need some rest. Here is a handy guide to the four best ways to sleep at work.

Short-sighted method
Your head supports the screen whilst your hand rests on the mouse - this demonstrates a deep commitment to your work.

Philosopher method
Rest your head on your hand. This position suggests that you are tackling an issue, which might be crucial to the existance of the company.

Lifter method
In this position, your inertly hanging hand suggests that you are trying to reach for a pen. Might look slightly suspicious if used longer than a minute.

Searcher method
This method is also known as insolent, use only when other methods fail.





41 comments:

Lady_T said...

Lol Hilarious! Thanks for the advice!

Anonymous said...

I've used the Philosopher on many occasions, and I've yet to be questioned.

Also works well while waiting for large documents to print, since you'd have nothing else to do anyway.

Matthew DesOrmeaux said...

Can't believe you missed the best one: Phone headset resting on shoulder.

Presto P said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Presto P said...

The Philospher is classic and can be used not only in front of the computer but inside of large lecture halls but best used with the arm nearest the teacher and facing in the opposite direction (to avoid being spotted).

Anonymous said...

Network/Computer Techs prefer The ReWire which is similar to the Searcher method, but allows for laying flat on your back. You simply drape a network cable across your chest while holding a crimping tool. This works well, unless you are prone to snoring...

Anonymous said...

do you have any methods for sleeping at the wheel durring rush hour? :)

uniberp said...

The best is the "doze 'n scroll" which is achieved by shutting your eyes and tapping your finger on the up and down arrows on a very long text web page.

You never want to really sleep in your chair, lest you start snoring, but this technique lets you nod off nearly completely, while still appearing to perform as much works as you would if actually awake, that is, not much.

Anonymous said...

I wish I got this very informative email before I got written up for putting my head down for a quick minute..well maybe two..

Anonymous said...

This is why we all must work from home

Anonymous said...

With the decline of CRT monitors, the short-sighted method is probably on its way out...

Unknown said...

The US Navy has done significant research into sleeping on the job, and although the four methods are good, they pale in comparison to "Marlboro Country". Take a hard pack of smokes and place them under your chin and rest the bottom on your upper chest. The pack supports your head without using hands. BRILLIANT! Also, if you are ever caught by your boss while tending the herd in Marlboro Country, the first word out of your cake hole better be "Amen!" This means you were simply praying to the God of your choice, and if you are subsequently fired, you have grounds for suing based on religious discrimination and not snoozing on the company nickle. If you need a religion, try Frisbeterian. They believe when you die, your soul gets up on the roof and you can't get it down, like a Frisbee. I've seen both of these methods used to great success. Sleep tight!

scalpod said...

I've used the Searcher successfully in past, but only in infrequently visited closets.

Anonymous said...

YOU GUYS ARE SO FUNNY LUV YA ALL

The Dad said...

In the army we were always 'maintaining' or 'servicing' our Humvees. That involved lying flat under a Humvees and hanging you hands somewhere under the vehicle - giving the very apparent illusion that you were working on something. Never got questioned. When we were called or awakened somehow, we simply crawled out, dusted our our hands, and walked away muttering something like "wow, that was more complicate than I'd thought it be..."

Anonymous said...

You fold your hands in front of you and rest your head on your hands.

When awoken..."In the name of the father, son, and holy spirit, amen" as you do the sign of the cross.

Never fails.

Well, unless you're outspoken about some other religion.

Anonymous said...

couple yrs ago came across a program you could run that emulated the sounds of the keyboard and mouseclicks, worked wonderfully on many occasions.

Kwizgiver said...

That's very, very funny!!

Anonymous said...

Ha, Ha! I thought I had invented the "Lifter". I used that when I was pregnant and couln't stay awake after lunch. LOL

Anonymous said...

I used Philosopher method but my head jerks back and forth. Does my back rest need to be adjusted or is there some other way to keep me still?

Anonymous said...

all very funny, sadly the humor is due to the western idiotic habit of not allowing a short sleep (ie/max 30 min) right after lunch

Anonymous said...

Good Job!: )

Unknown said...

See http://inusitatus.blogtv.com.pt/2007/04/26/o-que-a-falta-de-cafe-e-capaz-de-fazer-com-as-pessoas

Hellen Quirino said...

Everybody need a rest..

useful tips!!

Mc.Cowan said...

Waugh... Great blog. Found it by accident when I search for DIY Tips.
Belive me, I'll come back to this great blog. :)

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superdanksunrise said...

Let's not forget the Lean Back. Open a long PDF, set the mouse scroller to gradually browse through it, and lean back in your chair while maintaining one hand on the mouse, the other on the keyboard. Works particularly well if your back is to the entrance of your office or cubicle.

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